You know you have children when....

It's been one of those days. The kind when you just look around at your house that looks like a tornado hovers over it constantly and think -- whew, thank God I have kids to blame this on! As I was thinking about the events of today, they made me laugh because 5 years ago, I would have no idea these kind of events would become common and how little I would be phased by. This is how our weekend has been:

You know you have children when .....

- You no longer rush to change diapers the instant you realize they aren't clean. You play the wait it out game to see which parent will get tired of the stinky baby on the floor and change the diaper first. Poor Cohen.

- You and your children are no longer impeccably dressed in public. Unless you are going in public where someone important might know you, you don't worry about making sure your kids are matching. Shoot, sometimes you just make sure the baby is wearing a non-wet diaper.

Cowgirl Ballerina Emery -- YeeHaw!

- Your conversations no longer consist of recent movies, new music or the latest event. They are running monologues of your 3-year-old telling you about her and her friend "tooting" at the pool last night and laughing about how funny it sounded.

- You no longer laugh at funny sitcoms or late night comedy shows. Not only are you not awake for them, but your new funny is spending bedtime laughing uncontrollably with your daughter over the fact that she thinks sticking her finger in her nose is funny.


- You no longer know what music is popular or recently released on the radio. In fact, when you actually find yourself alone in the car, you don't realize until you've made it back home that you have not only been listening but singing along to the children's CD in the car.

- You many not know where anything important in your house is, or where that check went that you were supposed to deposit, but you can tell your child where any toy is that they are looking for including if it's under the couch, behind the bed, in the car or outside.

- The highlight of the evening is no longer 5 p.m. when work is over - but 8 p.m. when both kids are asleep in bed and all is quiet.

Playing in the playpen with Bubba

- You no longer remember to change clothes before guests come over. Still wearing the dress from church that the baby not only threw up on, but got poop on? No big deal. Bedtime is soon enough.

- You haven't been invited to a dance party in a long time. Oh wait, what about the 30 minutes you spent dancing in the living room lifting up shirts and showing your bellies while singing with a three-year-old, 'Look, at my belly, look at my belly, look at how big it is....."

- You no longer care what others think. Especially when your child follows you outside naked wearing only light-up princess shoes and stomps around the driveway while you dig through your hoarder-like car looking through the 5 pairs of shoes she's taken off while in the car for the match in your hand -- while in the meantime, all the octogenarians of the neighborhood are doing double takes at the sight beside you.....

- Your three-year-old tells you a secret that when she goes to the potty all by herself, she uses five squares of toilet paper instead of the allotted four! And it's hilarious to her that she is cheating the system of toilet paper.

You also know you have kids when you can walk in their rooms before your go to bed and smell that sweet clean baby smell as you give one last goodnight kiss -- You know what I'm talking about!

You also know you have kids when you feel that tight squeeze of little chubby arms around your neck telling you: Good night Momma, I love you. You're special to me.

Oh, I love being a momma! I wouldn't trade any of my pre-Emery and Cohen days for anything in the world.

Over and out --